Ghiradelli Grand Fudge Cake

I suggest puree-ing raspberries and spreading them between the layers. Chocolate and raspberries…yum!

Carrot Cake

Cream Cheese Lemon Zest Frosting

(It’s actually two recipes, so click both links)

Anyway, I hope it turns out well. Does anyone have a birthday coming up?

My first dish was simple enough: Oatmeal Banana Bread. But somehow, as I always do, I managed to use EVERY SPACE in our large kitchen. Including the top of the chest freezer. Denise came in and outlines a small portion of the kitchen saying that when I had my first apartment I would only have that much counter space. I mulled over it before, I replied that I would cook in my bedroom. My mom chimed in that she had done that before, and I can’t say I’m surprised.

Next, Liz made brownies. I should have stayed out of her way, but when it comes to me baking, no one is safe. No one. So I nosed around in her brownies (not literally) and they turned out fine. But it was the finding the ingrediants for the next dish that led to disaster. As I dug around in our cuboard, looking for baking soda, I up ended a bag of sushi rice. It Poured on every surface, spanning the entire kitchen. Denise thought, like me, that it was disasterous. My mother, for some reason, supposedly found it “cute”. Don’t ask me why. I don’t know. Maybe we reminded her of herself? Anyway. Liz and I cleaned up the rice in about 40 minutes, and afterwards I twiched everytime anyone said “grain” or “rice”. So of course they made a game of it.

But the day was not yet over, for I, Supreme Lord of Klutziness, had yet to make one last dish. The dreaded…terrifying…horrific…cinnamon-sugary… SNICKERDOODLES!!!! Feel free to scream. Oddly enough, nothing terribly wrong happened. I made the simple dough, rolled it into balls, rolled the balls in cinnamon sugar, and baked them to sugary perfection. Probably nothing horror movie-like happened because Liz helped. However potent my bad luck is, her good luck is more so.

Thank god for little sisters. Specifically, mine.

The reason I wrote this is because everyone is going to have regrets in life. And not all of us are going to turn into vampires and thus live in tortured humanity forever, though that does sound fun. In a few installments, I’m going to put out a few things that I hope will prevent you from ending up writing auto-biographies that make me cry and are all about your regrets. In other words, when it comes to real life, fairy cake stories are good, like a beautiful gem in the horrific ocean that is the modern world. An ocean filled with poverty, cruelty, loss, greed, and so many unhappy endings. So many things will feed this ocean, anything that causes rage or stress or grief, from the queenofspain being ill to the loss of a child to a pregnant teenager whose family is too poor to afford to get her an abortion. A lot of things are out of our control, but the beautiful moments will sparkle, casting a ray of light through the darkness.

Though I can’t keep you from the things that will hurt in life, I hope that some of the 101 things that I am going to list will help you to build ties to your friends, family, community, and yourself.

I hope I can help you build and embrace that gem of hope.

To do list:

1. Dance in a grocery store

My mom does this. I used to be embarrassed and try to make her stop, but then I realized something: it’s fun! So now, whenever my mom and I are in a CVS or the Jewel-osco, and we hear a good song, we just dance, even though I look like a cockroach in its death throes when I do. People stare, but who cares? Letting go of your inhibitions and expressing yourself is a natural, healthy, beautiful thing to do. It sometimes takes an excellent mom to show you that when a person puts their soul into something, it shines.

2. Talk to the girl who everyone ignores

In the book in the Gifted series Out of Sight, Out of mind by Marilyn Kaye, a girl becomes invisible when she feels invisible. She’s ignored, or at best, made fun of. In New Moon by Stephanie Meyer, Bella has a recurring nightmare about being trapped in a void. In an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, a girl becomes invisible because she is so plain that nobody notices her. These were all fictional cases, and though people might not literally become invisible, everyone deserves to be noticed. Bella is right to fear alienation. Sometimes, being brave enough to talk to the new kid, or the shy kid, or the kid with no friends, or the really weird kid will earn you a new best friend. Fate smiles kindly upon the brave.

3. Bake a cake with someone close to you.

It might be your husband (yes, I know, Denise. Patriarchy. Right.), your sister, your mom, your friend, anyone. Working together to build something, especially something caloric and delicious is fun. Making something successfully has a thrill of its own, but sharing is a true joy. I know it sounds corny, but some of the funniest, loveliest, most endearing moments are born in the kitchen. Not to mention the fact that everyone loves baked goods.

I will continue the list, but for now, “let them eat cake”.

Coffee Chocolate Layer Cake with Mocha Marscapone Frosting

Enjoy!

Back to the actual trip. We left Evanston, and, after a grueling car drive consisting mainly of Liz and me performing a hideous rendition of a medley of “Islands in the Stream”, “Staying Alive”, and “Living on a Prayer” (what do the songs have in common? American Idol Encore 2 for the Wii), we reached the first chocolate shop we were supposed to visit. Unfortunately, it had a sign in the window which read, “No chocolate until mid-September”. What? No chocolate? What will we do? Little did we know that more chocolate than we could handle was coming our way…

We went to another homemade chocolate shop called Oak’s Candies, which sold excellent meltaways and some truly adorable chocolate Ice cream cones. It was a normal cone, but it had milk chocolate, shaped like ice cream, coming out of it. Yum. We went to the experimental aircraft museum, where  Liz and I practically regurgitated out copious amounts of chocolate in a flight simulator. Afterward, we approached yet another chocolate store where we bought salt water taffy and chocolate chips. Chocolate covered potato chips, that is.

After staying the night in a fantastic hotel, and watching an episode of Trueblood, another purchase from the B and N, we hit the road again, heading for a grocery store called Woodman’s. Woodman’s had everything! We bought supplies for the next three days when we would be renting a cottage by Kangaroo Lake. We also bought a huge amount of soda, some of which actually had sugar. (My dad doesn’t like us drinking soda, especially soda with sugar.) Anyway, the car was stuffed like a Thanksgiving turkey with food.

Kangaroo Lake was stunning. We spent the days Kayaking, paddle boating, and swimming until Liz got incredibly sunburned. We spent the nights making s’mores, playing Mad Libs, watching Trueblood, and having Odd Dreams. It was fantastic and relaxing and I think I might be getting a little obsessed with Trueblood. ( I had been obsessed with the books it’s based on first, of course. Still, it’s a really interesting series and it’s nice to see the differences between the books and the show.)

Going home, we ate lunch at Culver’s and dropped by two moe candy shops: one that specialized in home made lollipops, the other in, you guessed it, chocolate! We spent the car ride Playing with Klaus, my cross-dressing stuffed tiger cub, and Liz’s stuffed mute male Mammoth, Tusky. We acted out their forbidden high school love, and accompanied them with various songs from AI Encore. It was great. Even if I still feel like Kakashi’s going to be covered in vomit any minute now.

Ninja Turtle Brownies

Not just Brownies. Not just ninjas. Ninjas and brownies! Throw a couple vampires and a pirate or two into the mix and you get…Vampirevocab.com! (Er…perhaps. Do not try that at home.)

Deep Chocolate Brownies

Anyway, at this very moment I am being summoned to help arrange our kitchen. I would kill for a brownie right about now…

Molasses honey ginger cookies

My dad helped me make them at four thirty a.m. which isn’t early for me, but it was for him, so I’m really grateful for that. Therefore, heres my other serving suggestion: Wake a loved one up at four a.m. and have them make the cookies with you. It makes the finished product all the better.

Click the links for the recipe:

Black-bottom chocolate pie

Chocolate crumb crust