So, Do You Come Here Often?
My food and I have a very cl0se relationship. After all, it’s gonna be in my digestive system, I want it to be good. But drinks. Drinks are much more than that to me. Before BlogHer this year, I was daydreaming about Trop50:
An blood-orange colored heart-shaped bed face away from me as I padded into the room. The flooring felt soft under my feet and I looked down to find I was walking on the soft white flesh of the inside of an orange peel. The room was dimly lit by the light of Citrus-spice scented candles. Automated, the bed spins around and Trop50 lay there with three negligees spread in front of her that she caressed as she spoke. “So,”" she purrs alluringly. “Which do you want me in: Blueberry Pomegranate, Mango pineapple, or Pulp Free?”
See what I mean? I’m very serious about my Trop50. By day, she’s a southern belle in a mansion by an orange orchard, by night…well, you know. She is also my first true love. At the Trop50 stand I got to try the new flavor Farm Stand Apple. It was like falling in love all over again. Trop50 is my main love, and nobody will ever replace her in my heart, but I admit to drinking Pepsi, ginger ale, Propel, and even jasmine tea while at BlogHer this year.
But, dear Trop50, fear not, they were just flings. To me, Pepsi is a sassy woman in zebra print and a wide yellow belt with rockin’, gravity defying hair. Ginger ale is a quiet, mousy woman who likes photography and kittens. Propel is a sporty, athletic woman with an omnipresent ponytail and a sweat towel around her shoulders.
Trop50 feels most threatened by Jasmine Tea. Jasmine tea is sexy and sophisticated, with long dark hair, almond shaped brown eyes that glimmer with secrets untold, golden skin and an accent that adds warm subtext to everything she says. Of course you feel threatened Trop50. I understand. But Jasmine and I are just friends, we would never…now, don’t cry, dear. You know I hate it when you cry. What I wanted to say to you was, I appreciate how hard you try. But you don’t have to try on new flavors like Apple, mango, blueberry. No, no! Of course I like them. No, they don’t make you look fat. I just like you the way you are Trop50. I think that it’s adorable that you try so hard to be sexy like Jasmine Tea. But, you are so cute, and you don’t need to change one little thing to make me happy.
There, see? The tears are all gone. Now give me a hug.
August 7th, 2010Topic: Food, Life, Ramblings, Writing Tags: None
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