Comments on: Change

By: Dad

Dad — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 00:03:06 +0000

You are an amazing young woman, Rebecca. I still get apprehensive when I start something new, and ive had a lot more time to figure out who i am. We never have all the answers! I know that some things about high school are going to be rough, but I’m sure you’re going to like much more than you don’t. And as you’re trying to figure out everything about yourself and your life, remember that nobody has it all figured out. You have lots of people who care a ton about you who can lend an ear.

I love you and can’t wait to see you!

Love,
Dad

By: Joy

Joy — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 16:35:14 +0000

Oh honey….I just want you to know that everything you’re feeling about heading to high school is SO common…SO normal. It’s scary and exciting all at once; and everyone wonders the same things you are…Can I keep up? Will I get lost trying to find my classes? Will I be liked? And you know what?….it all falls into place just beautifully. And it will for you too sweetie…you’ll see. Not everyone is open to change…sometimes I’m not; but change really is good. It opens up your life to bigger and better things and makes you grow as a person. You’re already a pretty wonderful girl…just wait until you see how you blossom in your high school years. I’m excited for you RJ. Love, Joy

By: sassymonkey

sassymonkey — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 17:49:07 +0000

I don’t know if I can help but maybe I just can listen. We can talk while we’re at BlogHer if you want. Just you and me. And you have my email. Denise has my phone number. You can always use it. Always.

By: Rita Arens

Rita Arens — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 13:56:08 +0000

I’m 36 now, but I’m writing a novel with a 15-year-old heroine. Writing it forced me to remember being 15, and guess what happened? I started having dreams in which I was furious with my mother. My sixty-something mother whom I call all the time and get along with perfectly, but with whom I fought so violently when I was 14 and 15 that I literally ripped the hair out of my head.

She was sick when I was a kid, and everything changed way faster than I wanted it to — I think it would’ve changed fast whether she was sick or not. But I do remember there is something to 14, to 15, when you start to realize it’s on you more and more and on your parents less and less and it’s hard to negotiate how that will go.

And the hard part is that it has to be that way or you’d never leave home. You’d never launch into your own life. But there’s really no happy, lovey way to grow your own wings. Extracting yourself from relying on your parents to relying on yourself is a painful break, for them and for you. My daughter’s only six, and I’m already worried about it. I know she’ll go through it, because everyone goes through it. That’s why we all joke about how we’d never want to go back to high school — it’s a confusing time. Cling to the good parts. Remember this is hard for your parents, too. I recommend writing it all down now, because you’ll be shocked when you look back and remember the flood of emotions you had at 15. It doesn’t stay that way — sometimes I miss the rush of being so alive.

By: Denise

Denise — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 13:43:00 +0000

Grrr. I was just sitting here thinking how quiet it was and how nice it was to have a break from each other – since you and I have not had our best moments over the last few days. Now I read this and I want to call your mother and say turn around, bring her back, we have to talk about this change stuff.

We started a really good conversation awhile back. We should pick that up. I can help you work through those things you can’t change – right now. Or the things you can’t change because you cannot change other people.

During our time in NYC, we’ll lose your mom and the other bloggers for a bit and we’ll talk about this change business some more. ‘k?

xo.