Vampire Vocab

I dreamed last night, and this morning as I thought about what real life factors affected my dream, I came up completely blank. But still, I’d like to share this divinely freaky dream.

I stand in an apple orchard wearing a really old-fashioned dress: lace and ribbons and all that fluff, in other words, totally not suitable clothing for an apple orchard at all. However, dream-me, who always, for some odd reason, has red hair and looks like Sassymonkey (don’t ask me why, I don’t know), doesn’t seem to realize this as I/ she sings about roses and castles as she picks apples.

Suddenly, a man bursts through the wall that surrounds the orchard.

“Would you like an apple?” I ask sweetly, nonplussed by a strange man in my orchard.

“No, thank you.” he replies equally politely.

“Then die!” I scream and launch myself at him, my face a mask of rage.

Before he can react, I kiss the unfortunate soul, and he is reduced to dust, like when Buffy stakes a vampire. Another man rushes through the wall, and stares in horror at the remains of my former victim.

“What did you do to him?” he gasps.

“The same thing I’ll do to you if you make his mistakes,” I reply, head cocked, the sweet demeanor returned. I hold out an apple to him. “Apple?”

The dream changes then, and I am in the kitchen with my sister. She looks younger then she is, five instead of eleven, and she gives me the annoyed look that only she has perfected.

“Why aren’t you dressed yet Rebecca? The wedding’s in an hour and you have to get your speech together!”

“What? What speech? Whose wedding? What?”

“Oh don’t play dumb with me! YOUR wedding! Don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet now…every one you admire and everyone with any power in this world is coming. You know: Lisa Stone, the QueenofSpain, and most of all Denise are all going to be there!”

The dream changes again and I’m standing on a podium, holding a sheet of paper and wearing the most garish wedding dress ever. I know that the language on the paper is english, but I don’t recognize it at all. I look out at the congregated crowd, seeing their set, stone-like faces, then back at the gibberish speech, and I do what I would do if it were real life: I fainted.

When I woke up, I was shivering in my own bed and vowing never to eat apples or get married. I have the freakiest nightmares…

This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 18th, 2009 at 4:15 pm and is filed under Life, Ramblings.
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